Growing from Goodbye

Initially upon entering the Johnson School for my final Monday of the semester, I was genuinely sad.  I knew it was the last time a student waiting to be picked up would hold the door for me with a polite smile and the last time I would greet the hall coordinator who was also a student of SHU, entering the cafeteria making my way through the madness searching for Ms. Ivy's face and the other women that helped with the program.  I was greeted by the usual second graders who ask and beg me to go to their classroom that day, while I seek out the children I work with specifically asking them how their day was and seeing where students who normally were there but were not were.  This final Monday I was concerned because it had been 3 times since I had seen one of the students that often gave me a particularly hard time, largely because he really needed the help, was no longer in the program as a result of money.  This was the first time I had realized the larger effect on the students that attend these schools.  I work specifically with children who are pushed or given a bit more opportunity by their parents, so though they are clearly influenced by their neighborhoods, they do have a slight advantage over those who do not.  I realized just how detrimental this program was to this student's education and became genuinely concerned as he was already at risk for failing second grade, for the second time.  There was no role I could play, and only brought this issue to Ms. Ivy who similarly shared her concern and expressed that they were working hard to bring him back.  I think about him now writing this and become sad that his last chance of truly succeeding may have been taken away from him.  This largely defined my day, along with a pleasant surprise of one of my favorite second graders D who showed imitative for the first time to do MORE work than he actually had to.  It was such an incredibly rewarding experience when he begged me to do more of his spelling packet, as he had forgotten his spelling homework the last 3 visits I made.  Ms. Ivy now left me alone in the classroom with our lighthouse kids, there is another women who presides over the classroom but it is my responsibility to work with 5 of the kids specifically who have or are at risk for autism.  I could not believe how far I had grown to be able to manage their questions and help them to see a smile in completing their work correctly and quickly to be able to do activity that day.  As our afternoon concluded, Ms. Ivy and I joined together, filling out final evaluation forms.  Ms. Ivy's incredible confidence and expression of my abilities made me blush, she had seen parts of me I had not, explaining to me specific experiences she witnessed with my connection with the students, expressing my ability and ease of working with disabled children, while treating them like another and clearly placing myself next to them, rather than above.  She stated I had a connection that was rare and should be embraced.  I wonder how this will affect my decisions later in life in my own career, but as of now, she has led me to contact the Kennedy Center to already find ways to volunteer alongside Ms. Ivy again in the fall.  I miss the students so much already; their innocence alongside these students that are incredibly mature for their age is amazing to me.  I see the potential and only want to see that grow more as they progress through their schooling and grow in their own intellectual efforts and social situations.  This experience was amazing and essential to me understanding so much more about myself as well as the essentiality of the common core to our general education, creating experiences and realizations that I will take with me into my career and future endeavors within society.